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Providing Value vs. Proving Your Value. Ep.25

Trying SO Hard...

When I first started offering free marketing consultation calls, I gave them so much help on so many different aspects of their business and marketing strategies. But I wasn't able to get these women to be willing to work with me in a paid format.

I became so resentful and frustrated that I at one point came home crying to my husband that I don't think I'm good at this and that maybe I should quit. He talked me off the metaphorical cliff but I didn't feel confident until I stumbled upon a video from this wonderful coach named Dallas Travers. Dallas is a business owner helping coaches become better coaches for their clients and to better scale their businesses.

In this video, she said the number one pitfall she sees coaches making is not understanding the difference between...

"proving value vs. providing value."

BAM lightning bolt. Omg...yes...I’m doing this…I’m totally doing this.

Why I Wasn’t Landing Clients:

I was subconsciously hellbent on proving to the women that I was able to help them. I wasn't trying to provide value to them. I was focusing on showing them a million ways I could help them if they wanted.

I was over-providing. WAY over-providing so that I could feel worthy of taking up their time and prove that I was giving value.

Giving Too Much For Free

I gave them WAY too much for free. They thought I told them exactly what they needed to do and had all they needed to be on their merry way. They would walk away thinking that the work was done now and they had a great "to-do" list to solve all their problems. It had actually just gotten started, but they didn't understand that.

Lack of Clear CTA in the Calls

I also wasn’t focused on leading them to work with me.

The calls were just me giving, giving, giving and ending with me becoming frustrated and resentful that they weren't translating to them becoming paid clients.

It's because my subconscious CTA was to show them: "here’s all I know, I have these skills, and here’s how I can show you those skills and how they can apply to your needs." It was me proving value, not providing it.

My CTA should have been closer to: "I see this problem you're having. I can help you out with that because of some of the helpful tools I've picked up on the way. I'd love to help you with this if you're interested in working together."

Shifting from me proving I can help to instead provide them with the help they needed. A small change in word order but a completely different approach.

Not Assuming the “Yes”

I had assumed that I needed to convince them they wanted my help with marketing their business. I was grateful that they had even signed up to listen to me, how much more could I ask of them...

But of course, that’s silly because they had signed up for these free marketing consultation calls. So it then stands to reason that they in some capacity did want some help in something.

I should have assumed that yes they wanted and needed my help because they had signed up for that help.

Of Course You Provide Value...

I was coming from a place of being grateful they were even there listening to me. Not that I was simply providing them with a service in a marketplace that they wanted and needed for their business.

I had to talk to myself and say "Amanda you’ve been working in marketing and business strategies for 8+ years and have been hired by companies to do this full time, you’ve had 100s of freelance clients, you’ve led teams, etc...why are you feeling you need to prove you can do this and get paid for it?"

Of course, I could do this and get paid for it. I just was new to this medium of selling and therefore nervous and insecure. I was unsure of the structure of help that I would provide, if anyone would be willing to pay, how I could help them, if I'd be any good at this, etc.

Weak Language

I was using weak language. I was saying things like “I hope that was helpful” instead of “I’d love to work with you and continue this conversation because I know I can help.”

The difference between "hoping" and "knowing."

I needed to become confident that I was helping. I didn’t need to hope for anything.

I'm Not The Only One

In talking to a client recently we realized she was doing the EXACT. SAME. THING.

She wasn’t closing any sales the way she would’ve imagined. She was becoming so frustrated venting that “I provide so much value and helped them. They were so happy and excited. And they didn’t hire me…wtf?”

When I told her I think she's focused on "proving value instead of providing value," she had the exact lightning bolt moment that I had when I first heard it.

We instantly started working on how to prevent this from happening, better ways to direct conversations, and how much to give away for free vs. which content to put behind a paywall.

Thank You Dallas Travers

I’m not going to claim this mind blowing insight of “providing value vs. proving your value” by any means because as I mentioned in “Episode 3: You’re not original and that’s okay, it’s hip to be square” it’s okay not to be original or need to be the originator of all ideas

It’s okay to repeat these ideas as long as you give credit where credit is due.

Thank you to Dallas Travers for this absolutely amazing insight that I’m passing along to you and hope that you have some kind of aha moment for yourself as well.

I could’ve passed off the insight as my own and nobody would’ve been the wiser, but that’s a disservice to Dallas and everyone else because it wasn’t my thought. I heard it from her and to take that away from her and not share credit removes the opportunity for you to learn more about her and anything else you might gain from her, not me.


Take a look at your life, your business, and your relationships. Is there anywhere you feel like you’re giving more than you’re getting back?

Do you feel like in any of these situations you might actually be proving your value and not providing value?

If you over-deliver on results, kindness, sales, etc. so you can prove to yourself and others that you’re worthy of what you’re offering to people, you might have the equation wrong...

Cliff Notes

Is there anywhere you feel resentful that you’re giving more than you’re getting back? You might be too focused on proving your value instead of providing value. This was me. When I first started offering free consultation marketing calls to women business owners, I was subconsciously hellbent on proving I could help them. I would overdeliver like crazy and make them feel so nourished and that they had such a wonderful list of things to work on that they actually didn't see the value in working with I could never convert them to clients...until I figured out what the problem was.

In this episode we discuss:

  • The difference between proving value vs. providing value and why that's such an important distinction

  • The power of your own subconscious CTA

  • Knowing your value and being strong in your language

  • Why assuming a "yes" is such a game changer

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